Resilience: The Secret of Inner Strength

Why do some people seem to handle the greatest crises almost effortlessly, while others struggle hopelessly with even the simplest challenges? What do we need to better cope with stress and successfully endure even the most intense pressures? What defines psychological resilience? And what actually makes a good relationship?

Resilience is the ability to be mentally strong and face life’s challenges head-on, making the best of them. It doesn’t mean being stubborn or unyielding, but rather flexible and adaptable, like a fighter in a Japanese martial art. Instead of fighting against things that cannot be changed, we should engage in dialogue and look for ways to make the most of the situation.

Psychological resilience refers to the strength to meet life’s challenges on equal terms and make the best of them.

For psychological resilience, it is essential to nurture six key areas of life: health, career, social connections, individuality and hobbies, faith and spirituality, as well as the private sphere (family, partnership). Each of these areas contributes to leading a fulfilling and healthy life.

Resilience means going inward and becoming consciously aware of oneself. It’s about being in a good relationship with yourself and accepting who you are. It’s about recognising the truth of who you are and using this inner truth as a benchmark for success and fulfilment in life. The path inward requires self-reflection and the willingness to confront your own blockages and patterns.

A central foundation for resilience is the ability to form relationships. It’s about developing good relationships with oneself and with others. The relationship with oneself is the starting point for building fulfilling relationships with others. A healthy relationship is characterised by a balance between giving and receiving, clear definitions of I, You, and We, as well as a healthy atmosphere. Engagement and dialogue within the relationship are crucial for a fulfilling connection.

Experiences from the past shape our ability to form relationships. The way we experienced relationships in our childhood home influences how we behave in relationships today. It is important to become aware of the patterns and beliefs that prevent us from developing healthy relationship skills. Working through the past can help us let go of old struggles and find peace.

Many people compensate for their inner conflicts and unmet needs in various ways, such as through alcohol, food, or shopping. However, compensation is not a sustainable solution, but rather a numbing mechanism. To truly be resilient, it is important to confront and resolve inner conflicts, rather than numb them.

If we don’t address our needs and conflicts, we enter a vicious cycle of exhaustion. Four phases can be identified: alarm situation, resistance, exhaustion, and withdrawal. Recognising early which phase we are in can help take timely action and begin the path to resilience.

Resilience is not a state that you reach once and then have. It is a lifelong process of self-reflection, engaging with oneself, and working on relationships. Resilience means continually seeking dialogue with oneself and others, and being open to change. It is the inner strength that helps us navigate life’s challenges and lead a fulfilling life.

In the end, resilience is the ability to engage in dialogue, and anyone can start learning this dialogue here and now, becoming aware of it.